Break your heart

I don't know what is going on in my life right now, I'm really confused. But I'm not going to talk about the heart of the problem. I am going to cut at the outside bothersome things first. So for some God awful reason, I still am somewhat fixated on A. Maybe fixated is not the best word, but I still think about him. I guess that is so unrealistic, but for some reason I can't let go. I need to find a way to do that. For some reason, because of the other problems in my life, I feel the urge to contact him. I do realize this is not a good idea. I mean I have contacted him and he does not want to respond. I guess I have this feeling that I should run it into the ground first. That way there is no chance of anything else. But even if I was to contact him, 2:30Am is probably not the best time. Why do I have such issues in life? Sometimes I feel like I lack certain social processing skills. I just set myself up to be hurt, and all guys ARE THE SAME. Even if you trust one and love him, he still will break your heart. It just hurts. And I don't know what to do. It just makes me sad.. Makes me question what is true. I really should be asleep right now. Maybe I can think of something to send A without sounding crazy. You know, it'd be real nice to make a trip up to see NYC. What to do though? Am I just hanging on to something that has no hope? I still have that feeling. But my personality is that you gota be proactive in life, and don't let things slip by. Maybe the best thing to do is to take a step back from everything and just focus energy elsewhere. I just don't want to be hurt anymore than I already am. What is meant to be will be.

live it up. carpe diem!

life decisions

I have been feeling really strange in some parts of life, but good in others. I am still with W, but I have no clue what I will do about my family. That is something that ill deal with later.. I really care about him! like for reals, so I just want to see what happens.. Something will work out for the best, I just am not sure how that will happen just yet. It is nice to actually have a boyfriend thought, I have never really experienced that. I don't like the whole overprotective part however. I guess I am just not used to it. But he's so good. I can't go all into it, because that'd take foreves. But we will just leave it at he's great, and oh so good.

But for some reason since this summer I have been second guessing my decision to be an elementary teacher. Is it really what I want to do? I have no idea. I think I will be awesome at it, but what if I can do something more. It's not like i care about money or anything, but I want to do something that fulfills me. Meet my potential. Don't settle. All that fun stuff. I still have this desire for psychology. I'm thinking I can do something like the educational psychology class i am taking this semester. I feel like this semester will be the test for me to see if teaching will be my thing, or if maybe a counseling/therapy thing will be more for me. I don't feel like I should make any big changes now, because I want to see how it is first. There's so much homework I have to do this semester! I am really getting into the hard stuff. Even though it is really interesting, it will be so time consuming with the reading and all. Well I can't do anything about anything now, so I am just going to be happy with my awesome life for now and the people in it. I hope that me and W work out somehow:) we shall see but for now..

live it up

Fuck-n cray cray

So.. here lately I have really let things get to me. J is just not worth my time. He is so inconsistent. I will talk to him one night about getting fucking married.. and then the next fews days I just get bullshit. I just know he is full of shit because if he really meant what he said then he would prove that he cared.. or you know what? He wouldn't have to prove it because I would be able to tell. But I can't. And how do I know what is truth and what is not? I don't know! He doesn't fill me in at all. He says he's busy, but how am I supposed to know that. Just not messaging back won't cut it. I'm realizing now that it just won't work. Part of me feels bad about it, but the smart me knows this is what's best. I am not able to handle it anymore. I definitely deleted him from my phone too. I mean I have his number saved somewhere if I need it, but I've done all I think I can. I just want a relationship that I don't have to stress over. I know that no one is perfect. But I think there is better out there. I deserve better. I know this. I shouldn't let myself be treated like shit. My family and friends agree too. I mean they see how he treats me. I just have to move on from it. I kind of want to delete him on facebook, but I think I am more mature than that. He may be attractive to me, but it's not worth feeling this bad over. I don't know if I will write much more about this. There is so much how I feel though. It makes me sad to write this because I do care about him. I think that should actually be more in past tense. I mean if he cared he would show me. That's enough.

So there's this other guy that is pretty awesome. I like him alot, but guess what? I can't date him. You want to know why? He's black. I'm white if you didn't know that already. To me it doesn't matter one bit, but my family on the other hand... They really do care because they are traditional. I really hope that one day it is okay for anyone to be together. It's sad because he is so much of a better person that J. We will call him W. W calls me or texts me everyday. He makes sure I get home alright. He cares. I've only gone out with him once, but it was a really fun time. After that I talked to my mom about a supposed situation. I didn't tell her it was me, but yeah she said that it would be bad. I ended up telling her because I was crying uncontrollably the other night. I think I was PMSing or something. I really don't ever have effects from that. BUT OMG it was bad. I think J was fucking with me too and stress from school just really got to me. Of course I let him know that we couldn't be anything serious, but that I still wanted to see him. I hope he understands this. I mean I can handle just the whole not-serious thing. That's what I have always done. So really I have to just see what happens. BTW black guys are amazing kissers;)

Yeah so I did end up calling A, but didn't get a call back. Oh well. I kind of thought he would call me back, but thinking back on it that wasn't very smart. He said he had to move on. Calling me back wouldn't be moving on. So, that's all. Sometimes I have little flashbacks from us hanging out. I think that's okay though because it's good memories. I mean there's always a chance I'll see him again. However slight that may be.. Haha. I still have good memories. Damn he was so good at stuff. He was just good conversation too and fun. He's the best guy I have met so far. He's so interesting. Like appreciates life and goes and does stuff. I actually learned things from him, kinda weird, but to appreciate nature and time. And walking in parks. And scenic views. I mean FUCK i have such good memories from 4 dates. ONLY 4 dates. It feels like I knew him for so much longer. Thank goodness he doesn't have a facebook because I think that I'd have been driven crazy. He's a great guy, and I do hope I run into him again. Maybe he'll call me? Who knows. If he wants to he will. And that's all I can leave it as. He was so cute. Honestly I think I will find someone amazing anyway. But he sure was cool. That is all.

Well life will happen, and it is what it is. I've done what I can. Wow life is still good. I just have to realize that. I really can't have that many complaints. I must stop letting guys get to me so much. I am myself, and guys will follow if they are worth it. If not, then they will not be in my life. It's time for optimistic me to be back:)

Live it up

sooooo

fucking confused..

One day J is saying he wants me to be his girlfriend, the next he's saying we should date ON THE SIDE.. what the fuck man. I don't even know where to begin with this situation. I think it is best to just not do anything. I don't think I can handle being the side girl. That's below my standards. I totally let my hopes get up after talking to him on the phone.. And i thought that was ok, but it def was not. It sucks because I do want to be with him, but I don't just want to be another girl in his life. I actually want to mean something to his future. But how can I know how he really feels? Can I trust him and what he says? I hope so, but I just don't know. This just makes me full of sadness because he canceled the day we were supposed to do something as well. Maybe one day we'll figure out something.. blahhhhhh. i really need to be at the beach.. That will make me feel so much better.

I have been thinking about A lately for some reason. I thought I was over that, but I guess not. It's kind of like I didn't want it to just end like that. I don't know what else to do though, because it's not like I can just call and be like what up friend?? I'm pretty sure I'll text him or call in the near future just to be like hey i didnt want it to end like that, but you may not wana talk but I just wanted to give it a try. And he can either respond or not.. up to him. Since he's the one that ended it in the first place. Honestly it was better that way, but I wish we were still friends or some shit like that. I am going to have to consult some people on this one though. I don't want to do anything stupid. I will prob hold off for awhile just to let it settle(all those crazy girl feeling) im also about to start that time of the month, so maybe that's why i am feeling so psychotic. Maybe shoot him a message in July or August. I have no idea. It's probably a terrible idea, but I still think what do I have to lose. I'll prob never see him again anyway. I like having that what the hell feeling, but sometimes I question it. Like maybe I should think before I do things. You can always make a choice, but you can't choose your consequences.

I just want to have a good summer and be happy. I'm just going to quit thinking about boys. For now at least, and figure myself out. Something like that. And one day something will hit me..

Live it up!

okayyy

So for some reason, I am just feeling like really bad at the moment. I don't even know why. I just have this feeling of sadness looming over me. But there isn't really a reason for this that I can figure out. I text J today, and that was alright, but I just wanted more out of it I guess. But I shouldn't really expect much from text.. I just want to see him. But I don't know when that will happen. Ugghhhh I'm just not at ease right now. I have been too busy working too. I need some chill time. Thank goodness I am going to the beach next week too. I am not sure who is going with, but I'll go by myself if I have to... hah. I just want something to work out well between me and J. I don't know what the hell i want.. but I just hope that I get to seem him soon. I think that's what I want for now. It sucks being the one that always texts.. Ahhh I just need to focus on myself. That sounds pretty narcissistic but it's a good thing to do. He said he was moving back to the city anyways sometime this year so we'll see what happens. I need to talk to him and figure out when he will be doing that too.

This really makes me question why I am so dependent on men. But I really can't answer that. It's not like I need them, but I have this deep desire and want for them ugghhhhh lol

Best principal ever..

My first day of teaching was a success! They seemed to learn something and like me! Kindergarteners can get out of control so easily though. It was a great school too, with great community support and a great principal. She came in the library before we went out to our classrooms and more or less gave us a pep talk. She talked about how children need to be loved, not yelled at. She really had a passion for the students. I want to be like her one day, I mean she could retire already, but she is still working hard to make the school the best it can be.I hope to be an administrator one day as well. It was interesting to see how the children went about during the class. I bet they were completely different at the beginning of the year though. I can't wait to be a teacher because the children are just too sweet and awesome. I'm glad I am going to college so i can have a clue of what I'm doing too! Awesome experience! I hope I get the opportunity to do it again.

This was the longest day everrrr though. Woke up at 5Am... Its 9Pm.. My body is like why are we still awake??? Night night. More later. Hopefully we'll get some news on the boy front soon.

Live it up

First day semi-teaching

My first solo teaching experience is tomorrow. I'm teaching a kindergarten class about business and money. I'm pretty excited about it so I can work with the kids. And i guess make sure this whole teaching thing is for me. I hope they are nice to me and not complete evil hell-raisers! Too bad I have to be there at like 7:30 Am. This is entirely too early for me! I guess I'll have to get used to it eventually, but I'm still young man! Sleep is still oh so precious to me. That's why I'm going to hit the sack early tonight. Need that beauty sleep.

So talked to J last night. I ended up texting him... Yeah I know I said I wouldn't anymore, but I had a good reason. It ended up being a good thing because we talked for a while on the phone. Plus, we skyped later. Boy was that fun ;) I think i'll get to see him sometime soon. That would be great, but rather difficult because he is talking to someone. So, I would have to be respectful of that. Even though i know when i see him it will be hard to not try to do anything or just want to kiss him. At least I know I can hug, that's rather innocent isn't it? I know it would lead to something else.. I'll have to practice self-control for real. But he called me earlier tonight, but I think it was a butt-dial because i couldn't hear anything when i picked up. And when I called back, he didn't answer. And he hasn't called me back. I just hope that he wasn't with the lady he's talking to, because that would be sooooo awkward! It is what it is.. He said if I was older, he would so be dating me now.. What the hell man? why does that even matter? I want more clarification haha.

Well, off to be a kindergarten teacher tomorrow! wish me luck!

live it up!

FML

Just had to throw that out there for the male situation. Fuck them all. All the guys that ignored my texts/calls and just thought of me as another girl.. That's so not me. I'm not taking anymore bullshit. I just don't want to let anyone else to get to me unless I know it is completely worth it. You can't always know but I think there has to be more evidence than what I have as of now. I hate having to disconnect my emotions from situations though, I want to give it all. Give everything a chance, but I guess that is how one gets hurt. In the end you have to figure out who is worth being hurt over. The wise Bob Marley once said,“Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.”

So enough bitching... I hope I don't have to tell anymore stories of sadness. The next will be like a fairy tale.

Ok so I just text J, but he's not texting me back. I really don't need to text him anymore. He's just not being responsive and it seems like he doesn't want to talk to me anymore. What else can i do? I just need to not think about it. But def easier said than done, eh? All you girls out there feel me on this one I know. I just have to quit impulsing, because I have been wanting to text him for the past few days. I'm just gonna chill with it now though. If it's meant to be it'll happen: my mantra. That's just how I feel generally about everything in life. No pressure. Need to stay true to that. Just needed to talk about that a little.

But anyways, I am watching Sex and The City, getting ready for NUMBER 2! Which comes out right around my birfday! SOOOO excited! I just love the whole idea of it. It's a group of friends that are with each other for the long haul. They are all different in their own ways, but still are connected by the good ole NYC. I'm gonna go to the big apple one day soon. Oh man, it's at the scene where Big leaves Carrie at the alter. :( SO sad.

This week is going to pretty busy. Work M-F, JA on Weds, and test on Saturday. I really need to start studying ASAP for the test, but my study guide (turns out can only be downloaded once) was on the usb drive I turned my projects in on.. So it is quite important that I get that back tomorrow. I really should have planned ahead about that. Oh well!

I really wish I was writing this at the beach right now, but here in about 2-3 weeks that is exactly what I'll be doing. I might even try to not take my laptop, and just read and journal. That sounds like an awesome idea. I'm not sure if I can live without the internet for a week though. I'm pretty set on trying though. I will have to completely not take it though, because if I take it and say I won't check it, I know it will end up being checked. And many beach hours will end up being wasted to the treacherous internet. Oh how many hours of my precious life have been sucked up by the evil. It's kind of like S&M though, it might be bad for you, but boy is it fun..

tata for now

live it up!

Living at the hizzy..

...isn't bad at all. Although this will only be my third night here, it is going quite well. We did a big clean out today, so that makes me feel better. I finally have all my stuff unpacked and placed back in my room. I have way too much stuff! I think my stuff has multiplied itself like bunnies over these past nine months. I honestly can't believe how fast the time has gone by. I'm not sure if I want the summer to go by fast.. I have a feeling like I want life to slow down just a bit so I can take it all in. I hope some amazing things happen this summer. Just in general, I can't say anything specific. We'll see.

Tomorrow is Mother's Day. I have the best momma ever just sayin'... Hope its a good one to all you mothers out there! One day hopefully I will be wished Happy Mother's Day, however, not any time soon!... I've got so much left to see! Trying to hit up Italy next summer with the Education School.. WOOHOO. Hope it works out.

Good night loves. Just wanted to type some stuff.

Live it up

The living sitch

Alrighty...So I'm back at the parents house now..It's a nice place with food, and shelter, and loving people. BUT it has no freedom whatsoever. Curfew at 12, can't have guys over, and my sis doesn't even live here anymore. I really want to stay in an apartment, but the financial situation would totally blow because I would end up having to pay alot more for it out of my own money. If I stay in the dorms, my parents would help out quite alot. Another factor is safety. The place we were looking at is a bit sketchy and I wouldn't feel safe living there.. That is a problem with me. If I can't go out for a run in my own neighborhood, that isn't good. Oh well. It's so much less of a hassle to live in a dorm too. Everything is included in the price, no bills to pay. I would rather wait til my senior year and just get a nicer apt with my sister. On to more fun things..

Boys: Actually I don't have anything to say about this.. A and me are no longer talking. I guess it's better because he is leaving soon anyway. And I was already getting pretty attached. I mean not really attached, but I definitely liked him. It couldn't go anywhere though.. Maybe I'll see him again one day. Def not going to bet on that. So, J on the other hand... I text him one day last week and we were talking about missing each other, and he said I should come visit and stuff. I really do miss him for some reason. I wish he would be more open with me. Every other guy that I have been with are just more talkative about themselves. He always says that's just not how he is.. But I want to crack open that bubble man! I still want to know more about him, even though I have known him like a year almost, I don't know that much. But yeah so I called him one day, and he picked up but said he couldn't hear me so we text. Then he asked if I was talking to anyone.. I'm still not sure why he did that. But he said he was kinda talking to someone. WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN...? I have no idea, and he would not really explain. So I don't even know about that situation. I hope I get to see him soon, but I'm just going to do my own thing for the summer. That is the best thing. Maybe I'll go see him, but I'm not going to try to talk to any guys. Or really I'm just not going to hunt anything out. I'm still only 19 so I have a while before I need to start worrying about relationships.

I ran my 5K this Saturday! I finished in 31:36. Pretty good for me I think! I have another one in June, So I'm hoping to better my time just a little bit...

Works sucksss. I work all 5 days next week. Oh well. At least I will have money! I can't wait to see the earnings in my bank account.

Texts from last night is the most awesome web site!! bye bye for now

live it up!

There goes my plans..

So this weekend I was going to go balls to the walls and get a shit ton of filming done for my movie project that I have to do for my teaching and technology class, but wouldn't you know there's a downpour outside. Most of the things I am filming require non-rainy days too. Bummer dude. But I still have a little more than a week, so I'll get it done. There is hardly any time left in this semester. The last day of actual class is Monday. My exams begin the following Monday. It really is not a bad exam schedule, so I should kick bootay on them.

Well I have been getting plenty of sleep here lately because I have been a loser! Hopefully tonight or today I will get out. I have been out and doing things, but I have not done anything with the beau since like Tuesday (The last time I blogged as well). It was way fun, but it is Saturday now and I am missing the cutie. Well enough of this talk for now. On to more optimistic things.

I feel so in touch with my body at this point in my life. I did yoga this morning and then went to the gym and did 20 minutes of cardio, weights, and stretching. I also weighed myself, which I rarely do, and I am down to 168. I haven't seen the 160's since like last year. It was a fantastic feeling. It is not like I am trying to lose weight, but as a female I will probably always want the number on the scale to be smaller. I would like to get to the 150s and try to keep it there, but summer is right around the corner. I will have to really push myself to be motivated. I am so motivated right now for some reason. I find it difficult to not run every day. Isn't that strange? Most people are just looking for excuses to get out of the daily sweat. I thrive on it. It makes my day. Yesterday I did not do any exercise and I felt terrible last night. Granted someone did not call me as they were supposed to, but still I needed those feel good thingies. I can't run everyday though. I need to take out running like one day and just do walking or something. I think the body needs rest. Walking is so relaxing. I went to a trail to walk this week... no mp3 player... it was so great to be just listening to nature. Usually I just have music blasting in my ears when I'm running. It is a great escape, but I think 1-2 days a week it would be nice to go walking in the woods or trails. I will very likely try to incorporate that.

Wow Yoga. It is amazing. I think that is the finishing touch on my all around wellness for real. Since I have been doing it, I feel so at peace and relaxed. I want to be better at it like be more focused and get more out of the positions (not quite sure what the yogi name is). I feel like I am just doing the motions to just get it done, but that is not the point of it at all. It is about being one with your body and being stronger while stretching the body as well. The more you focus, the better it is. I always have those drifting thoughts about other things in life. Practice makes perfect though and I am quite the beginner at it. Bye bye for now.

Live it up

Carpe diem!

And he called me..

That is what every girl wants: for the guy to call the girl. Learn that guys and live a prosperous and lovely life. A called me today:) I had called him a few days ago and we ended up going exploring. And then we stayed up ridiculously late and had an awesome time. Having no sleep and taking that damn bio test was completely worth it! I think it was a successful test anyway. I'm just awesome like that.. jk but we ended up going out to this iron ruins trail or something like that. At the end of the trail, there was a golf course... Of course we walked on it! So romantic man! Clear skies, beautiful moon, and a great guy. What more can a girl ask for? (Maybe for the guy of her dreams to stay in the same state?) It was just a great night, I'm actually waiting to hear back from him about hanging out tonight. It's not looking to great right now, but the night is young. I'm just stoked he called me today. I was expecting another call from a doctor's office about something, and he just snuck in and called me! :) Great surprise! Life always happens when you least expect it you know? Ugh I dislike waiting.

OoOoOohh yeah check out that tat up there! I got that this weekend. That would be my first one! It is a gemini symbol with some funky stuff around it. I got it with my twinnie because it is the sign of the twin. Also a symbol of air. I like where I got it on my side too, Main reason I got it there was so I could hide it easily (got them baptist parentals). But I think it is at a really good spot for my body. Sexaayyy hah. Later for now!

live it up

Best I ever had..

Wow when i say best i ever had, i am referring to the best date ever.. so far at least in my life. Went to Italian restaurant with a GREAT guy. Then walked around some parks in the city.. Can I even explain how romantic that is? negative. It was just great! I mean to explain the greatness, he's nice, gentlemenly, and my height! And for me the height makes it an A+++ because I am pretty tall myself. It was perfect for standing up kissing. (Which is my fave) I am not sure what will happen with it because he is moving quite far away soon. My thinking in it is: I like him, he's fun to be with, it can be fun while it lasts even if nothing happens in the future, and he is a DAMN GOOD KISSER. He left it up to me, so now I must figure out my POA. All i can think of it now is something fun with a great guy. I still want to get to know him more tho.. I mean a girl does still have standards.

Daydreaming thought of the day: flying up to see him in the city.. now that's a classy booty call. haha

BTW I have this problem with finding guys who are leaving. Third time baby. Sucks. Well all i can do is hope for the best for all! bye for now

live it up

DONE!

So, I just printed my final portfolio to turn in for my EDU 200 class. Even though my portfolio is far from complete in the long run, it is for this class! And if I must say so myself it is indeed quite amazing. I would link it on here, but I think that might be a lil TMI. It is a great feeling to be finishing all the assignments for the semester. I also made this amazing powerpoint about Disney World for my teaching and technology class. I made it personal too and added personal pics from Spring Break. Disney was our vacay for this spring break. See me above in front of Cinderella's Castle:)

Today is a beautiful day! Too bad that got shot down because I had to go to the derm today to get salycic acid put on my face! Now I can't be in the sun or get sweaty today, and that is a downer because I would really like a nice run at the moment. Oh well. I did yoga this weekend so I am still hella sore from that. Who knew yoga was so strenuous!? I love it!

Nothing new in the male department. Tonight is the night though to conquer my evils and think about calling A though! Im going to talk with the bestie to make sure I don't say something crazily stupid. I really do not know how to do this adult thing like calling, rather than say facebooking or texting. Both of which are a ton easier! I guess this way gets rid of some bullshit though. We all know that it is best avoided in all circumstances! Well off to be a student!

Lovely lonely Saturday

Just saw this quote on this awesome lady's blog (Stephanie), not the oxygen. She is so awesome, even though I do not know her! She is a teacher, and that is what I am going to be as well. What I like about her is she is not boring..AT ALL. Sometimes I think people see teachers as prudes and boring fogeys.. But that is so not the case! I will not fit the mold! But yeah you should def hit up her blog.

This lil quote here speaks to me. Maybe I like aforementioned J because I know there won't be anything there. But I still have this crazy-ass desire for him. I have not talked to him in a while so that makes the whole thing worse, but there is still A to think about. I still have yet to contact him. Should I email him back? or just be a big girl and call? I have no idea! I think I'll figure this out eventually..

Hmm on to other guys though. There is wilcat and wilton. Don't ask.. when I know guys with the same name I must make it to where me and my sister can discern who we are talking about. Wilcat, I like him, but I don't think it is anything more than hanging out and watching movies if ya know what I mean. He will be leaving soon, so I can't think of him much to avoid the whole attachment and emotional thing. Things were great with him until one day it went SOUR. Might have found out some things.. We shall not go there. I tend to rehash the good memories, or at least try to, rather than dwelling on what went wrong. Anyways, wilton.. That's a kind of long story right there. I'm thinking he might be crushin again, but I just feel like we are friends. Even though he would treat a girl right. I just am not attracted. Sad day..

OMG I saw D in the grocery store a couple of days ago! AWKWARD! I haven't talked to him since he got in a relationship with some other girl like less than a month after we got together. Come on can i get a little more respect? But yeah I was just talking about him right before we got there about how awkward it would be if I saw him.. AND HE WAS THERE! I pick em real good.. We'll leave it at that.

So I gave Yoga a shot today! It's pretty awesome. I have taken one other class before, but this one was great. My sister is going to be a yoga instructor here soon, so I need to learn to like it. But I get free classes because I babysit these cute lil kiddies on Thursdays while their Moms yogie. So why not take advantage of the benefits? I am going to go tomorrow too:)

BTW Keeping up with the Kardashians is my guilty reality pleasure.. I do not watch too much reality stuff, but this show is awesome! You got to watch it at least once.. See the pic above. They are pretty people!

Well considering I have no plans for the afternoon, I may write again, but have a lovely afternoon!

Live it up!

To new beginnings!

Hello there!

Here is my new blog: Live it up! I hope will be about my living it up. Or at least my attempting this because we all know life is sometimes boring... The reason why I am doing this is because of my sister recommending me peruse (word choice?) some blogs. I searched a little, and finally got the hang of this whole blogging thing. I have blogged before but just about blah stuff. I will spare the blah for this one and include more juice. Be forewarned that I am not the best writer. So don't judge me if my word choice, spelling, or sentence structure is not up to par... I try but my brain just does not like to process stuff like that.

Well here is some stuff about me: I am a 19 year old student living in Alabama. I am going to college to be an Elementary teacher. Here is my cliche statement of the day: I want to teach the future generation to make the world a better place. While this is true, I just want to teach kids. I love their imaginations and hearts. I just started the education classes, so I hope I am cut out for this. This summer and fall I am hoping to get some experience. I am also a hopeless dater. I don't know if hopeless is the best word, but I just have not had the best experiences. But the past is the past. So I'll get over that. The future is bright.

I do like to talk about the guys... I won't put any names, but I do like to gush about my life's stories. I would like to find someone special that brings meaning to my life. But for now, I just have to be me and the rest will fall into place. There is one new potential.. We will call him A. This might get like gossip girl..hope not. Haha but yeah A, so I met him in the bookstore where I work. He returned a book and stayed to talk to me for a good 10 minutes. Since he made a return, I got his name..:) Definitely googled him. Then emailed him. He's in medical school, and pretty close to finished so he might actually be able to have a life! This other guy, we will call him J, is also in med school, but he would never make time for me so we are just friends now. He might be a little cray-cray.. Not for reals, but he has commitment issues. Ok back to A. I got a little tipsy last night and was like what the hell and emailed him! Wow, was that nerve racking! But he emailed me back. Got them digits! But now I do not have a clue what to do with them... I'm going to ask the girls for some advice. Wish me luck! I'll keep you updated..

Time to get ready. Party tonight:)

Live it up